I'm not sure if I'll keep up with the online food diary, but for a few days I figured it's be worth a try...

And yeah, pancakes was not the best thing I could have had for dinner, but it was better than the pizza I wanted to order. I think.

Breakfast: 1 banana | 90 cal
Fat free yogurt | 100 cal
Lunch: 1 roast beef sandwich | 340 cal
1 bag baked Lays Chips | 140 cal
Dinner: Pancakes | 600 cal
Snack: Apple | 60 cal
TOTAL CALORIES: 1330

Breakfast: None
Vending Machine Cave-In: Snickers Bar | 220 cal
Lunch: 1/2 roast beef sandwich | 180 cal
1 bag baked Lays Chips | 140 cal
Dinner: Vegetable Soup | 300 cal
Snack: Apple | 60 cal
Fat free yogurt | 100 cal
TOTAL CALORIES: 1,000

Another even week--no loss, no gain. Considering how crappy I ate all week, that's a major victory. There have been cookies (oooh, my mother in law makes these awesome oatmeal crispies that I am powerless against) and pumpkin pie on Christmas, and yesterday's Arby's regular, followed by a piece of chocolate cake, and then a late dinner at Denny's were probably not the best choices I could have made (but they were goooood...)

We're grocery shopping today, I need to get some reasonable foods in this house to keep me from reaching for the junk (and to keep me from eating out) and to get me back on track.

We're also checking out the base gym today. It occured to us that we can likely use it for free...no pool, which I need, but for now free beats $100 month for a membership where I have to fight for a lane in the pool (though later, probably after we know how much we'll get socked for in taxes this year, we'll join Gold's Gym....pool plus tons of classes there, especially karate, which I want to try again even if it hurt, and damn, can I create a longer run on sentence???)

Ooops, yes, it's Friday. Bad news is I didn't lose anything. Good news is I didn't gain anything. And considering this has been the week frm hell, that's decent enough!

New goal this month:

JUST DON'T GAIN ANYTHING!!!

Half a pound lost again.
Better than half a pound gained.
Or worse.
We won't discuss the fries or the chocolate truffles...

I stopped eating the Nurtisystem food because it was tearing me up. The problem is I didn't know ingredient was doing it.

Tonight I tried a couple small pieces of a sugar free candy...loaded with malitol.

Malitol is not my friend.

I still don't know if soy is a problem, but I can be sure that mailtol is, and NS foods tend to be loaded with it.

My poor tummy...

Half a pound.

I suppose that's something...I fought that damned half pound all week. Up and down, up and down...but at least on the scale this morning it was gone. It might be back next week, but for today, it's gone.

Could be worse. We found this nice store yesterday with awesome dark chocolate truffles, and dammit, I had a few. I could be UP a pound instead!

All my jiggly stuff held steady this week; no loss but on the bright side, no gain, either. I'm coming to terms with the idea that I'm probably not going to make my -30 goal for Christmas, but that's okay. If you'd asked me when I started all this if I'd be down 20 by now I'd have laughed at you.

We're going to start Christmas shopping this week.
Does that count for exercise?
That should count...
All those people, all the pushing and shoving...yeah, that should count.

Weight is holding steady... the doc increased my synthroid today, so I have marginal hopes that might help up my metabolism a tad. It's not a huge increase and I *know* it's not a weight loss drug, but I can have my little hopes ;) At least maybe I won't feel so freaking cold!

On a whim last night--after eating turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and PIE--I decided to try on some next-size-down-jeans that have been in my closet (in one state or another) for the last few years.

They fit.
Comfortably.

So my next goal is to not only get as close to -30 as I can by Christmas, but to make those jeans as loose as the ones I'm wearing right now.

Standing up and having your pants fall down...who'da thunk that would be good for the ego...?

Ok, so I took the official weight a day early, mostly because--even though I'm not cooking this huge Thanksgiving dinner--I plan on eating a little more than usual today. I'm having PIE, dammit!

I got on the scale this morning and was way surprised. Total loss to date: 21.5 pounds. I lost last weeks gain of 2.5 pounds plus 2.5 more. I know some of that was water, and I'm not sure how the rest came off, but I'm not questioning it.

But... yay!

The other night, when I had 400 some odd calories left to play with and was really hungry?

Well, I caved. I did not eat Good Stuff. My son came home at 10 P.m. and was hungry, too, and pancakes sounded really good to both of us. Great big fluffy pancakes, dripping with butter and syrup. It was a Mrs. Buttersworth calorie fest.

And last night? Well, let's just say I ate out and didn't make the effort to pick reasonable things from the menu.

So after 2 days of not making the wisest choices, I dreaded getting on the scale.

And what do you know... The 2.5 pounds gained from last week were gone, along with 1.5 of their little fatty friends. It's not the Official Weekly Weigh In, of course, but it sure as hell made me feel better.

There won't be a Thanksgiving Blowout dinner, and no leftovers to contend with (we're eating out...All Hail Denny's) so I have high hopes of not gaining anything else this week, except maybe a pound or two of water if my DDAVP doesn't wear off.

And today's weighing makes me unofficially at more than 20 pounds lost overall.

I hate nights like tonight. they dont happen often, but when they do...

I'm hungry. Not just a little munchy hungry, where a banana or a yogurt would fix it; I want food and lots of it. I had dinner just two and a half hours ago, and if I dared, I could eat a whole other meal.

And if it wasn't for the calorie count, I'd be downstairs, making hot chocolate and toast. Well, if I had the stuff to make hot chocolate with. I'd make it and 3 or 4 slices of toast slathered in butter. So I suppose it's a good thing that I don't have the makings for it, and that I'm night blind and can't take myself to the store for a container or Nestle's Quik.

I still have 420 caories to play with today, maybe a little more if I decide to go over 1200, so I can still eat something. I just know me. If I eat something now, come 10 p.m., when I usually have a snack, I'll still want one. If I rationalize that I can have some raw veggies, come 10 p.m. I'll rationalize myself into a major detary blowout.

So it's damned lucky I can't drive at night, because a 600-700 calorie hot chocolate blowout would sooooooo be happening...

Up 2.5 pounds.
I'm pissed.
Not at myself, just pissed in general.

No, I'm not giving up, and I knew a week like this was headed my way, but it still ticks me off. It's not even disappointment: I got on that scale this morning and was downright angry.

You'd think that at 1200 calories a day, at my current size¹, weight would drip off, not sneak back on.

So.

I need to be more diligent about keeping a food diary. I keep track of calories ingested, but I need to take a closer look at what those calories are, I think. I started this knowing I needed to be on a low glycemic diet, and I suspect a pound of that gain is because I took in too many higher glycemic foods. And some is water; the last 2 nights my DDAVP hasn't worn off, and today I feel it in my forearms. That's not something I can control.

Good thing though...I don't have that urge to go eat something totally not good for me. All I want right now is a banana. :::checks clock::: Too close to lunch, though. I can have it as my fruit with lunch instead.

Yep, I'm that anal right now. I could have it now and skip the fruit with lunch, but I know me. I'm going to want it with lunch, too.

¹Nope, I'm still not comfortable with admitting just what that size is...

Ok. realistically I know I'm going to have plateaus.
I can deal with those, even if I do whine about them.

But sheesh...I ate like crap week before last and lost weight. I'm back on track and so far I've gained weight this week.

I'd chalk it up to water weight, but my DDAVP has worn off early three nights running and I've shed any possible ecess water.

I know, I know...in two days I could get on the scale and it'll be gone again. But dangit, I'm so close to having lost 20 that I'm not exactly patient about it.

Not. At. All.

I think the crappy diet over the last couple of weeks caught up with me. I ate better this week than last, but I was less active and lost absolutely nothing.

It's a little more difficult without actually using the NS foods; I mean, I have to think about what I'm eating. I was hoping to do all this without having to engage the brain all that much...

So, back on the calorie counting bandwagon. At this rate I'm not going to hit my target of 30 pounds gone by Christmas...

Ooohyeah.
Minus 5 for the week.

I have a totally new diet plan: eat fast food until you hate it, but haul boxes up and down stairs every day. You wont like it, but you'll lose weight.

One more pound to minus twenty!

I had low expectations for this week; we're in the middle of moving and the dietary front has been looking pretty awful, but in spite of the steady stream of fast food and Denny's, I've dropped a couple of pounds. "Official" weigh in is tomorrow, so we'll see. I'll be happy with 2 pounds!

And dangit, I am too old to be hauling chit up a flight of stairs...

One more pound gone...but it seems a little disappointing. I've kept it right at 1200 calories a day, the highest I've gone is 1300 one day, and still only one pound. At my weight, more than just a single pound shoulda come off...

=sigh=